When you don't have a shoulder to cry on. Know that you can cry to Allah in your sujud, Who is closer to you than your jugular vein. Allahurabbi.


Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Dear heart, why?

Dear heart, why him.
I tried my best to stay cold,
to appear heartless, to appear careless.
But for the thousandth times,
I failed.
My heart fall for him,
and I hate myself for that.

I hate myself for being so pathetic,
I hate myself for giving too much attention,
I hate myself for being overly-care,
I tried not to think about him, 
but I barely did that.

I tried so hard to stand still,
but I failed. 

There's time, I think i was special to him,
but, apparently no.
There's time, I think he needs me,
but, i dont think so.
I just hope to be appreciated. Little bit.

Whatever it is, 
I will go on,
I will make sure he is happy,
I will remind him when he forget about Allah,
I will tell him if he did wrong,
As long as I'm here,
I will do that, even sometimes it hurts.

Dear myself,
That's a fitrah.
Nak jaga tu kena bermujahadah dgn betul.
This is a test that Allah give to you.
with a guy..
a guy..
Stay strong. Get a firm grip.

I will always keep this quite.
he won't know this..
Unless by Allah's will.
Dear Allah, help me. 
Dear Allah, please take care of him.